Welcome to my world

I live in London with my two crazy cats, Phil and Grant. This is my online training journal as I will be running the British London 10km in July, and I hope you enjoy your visit!

• An Easter of disappointments

  Posted on April 13th, 2009 John 5 comments

  Easter, when you’re a diabetic, isn’t the fun that it was once was. While there’s nothing to stop you eating some chocolate, you can’t eat yourself sick of the stuff anymore (and where’s the fun in that).

  Add other things into the mix, like a friend who comes to visit (and don’t me wrong, I love it when people come to stay, but I love it even more when they leave and I get my house back), having to play nice with ex’s (as they’re friends with that friend) and crap on the telly and it all starts to get a bit pathetic. It’s work tomorrow but I feel like I’ve not had any me time yet!

  But hey, here were my main Easter disappointments.

  The new Doctor Who. It seemed to go for ever and ever and ever, without very much happening in it. About the only good thing to the whole show was Michelle Ryan - she continues to surprise me now that she’s out of EastEnders. But as for the story itself, it was all a bit “bleurgh”. David, your time is up, hurry up and smeg off won’t you, and give the new guy a chance.

  “Smeg off” leads me nicely into Red Dwarf (I could almost be a links writer for a show). If Doctor Who was rubbish, Red Dwarf was an entire landfill full of putrid, rotting, steaming excrement. Question for Dave - or should be the Top Gear Channel? - why did you think resurrecting a show that died several years ago with your low budget would be a good idea? The plot was nothing short of fanwank (google that if you’re not sure what that is) that dragged on for three episodes too many, and it was telling that the shows that followed each new episode usually made me laugh in the first minute.

  Oh well … hopefully my friend goes at lunchtime like he originally said, and that means I can at least try and get out this afternoon and do something by myself, even if it’s just going for a walk. The rest of the week’s fun, doing my team’s appraisals before I leave them, telling my team I’m leaving (can’t wait for that!), and a session at the gym with Keli (which’ll probably be the death of me). Fun, fun fun.

  On Television Doctor Who, Easter, Red Dwarf

• The genius that is Charlie Brooker

  Posted on April 9th, 2009 John 1 comment

  If you have Freeview, Satellite or Cable you’ll get access to BBC Four, which has to be one of the most deadly dull of channels ever to be invented on the face of the planet. Strange intellectual documentaries, television shows that don’t even make it to BBC Three for goodness’ sake, and Charlie Brooker.

  Charlie has had two series on BBC Four of note - the first, Screenwipe, takes a look at various topics each week (for example, one week he covered advertising, and so on. One of the best he did was about the News). Here’s the first few minutes of it.

  As a bit of a television nerd, it was fantastic to watch, even if just for the old style BBC News titles changed to say Screenwipe. But watch the whole thing and you’ll understand why Charlie’s fantastic and wasted in the hinterlands of BBC Four.

  His new show has gone one better - Newswipe is your guide to the news, aimed at people who can’t be arsed to watch it every day and basically rips news presenters, presentation, and subjects to bits.

  Some of the things he’s put on the show are uncomfortable viewing and scarily accurate. Like the expert who said in the wake of any big shooting story there will usually be another two or three copy cats, so the best thing any news channel could do when something like this happens is to ignore it, or give it the most uninteresting and minimal coverage possible. Of course, our media’s incapable of doing that and made a big deal out of the recent shooting in Germany, which sadly led to more shootings in America shortly afterwards.

  But anyway … unfortunately you’ve missed the first three episodes of Newswipe, but they’ll probably be somewhere on iPlayer or Youtube if you’re determined to find them. Or even watch them on BBC Four - we might even double the number of viewers the channel gets as a whole as a result.

  On Television Charlie Brooker, Newswipe, Screenwipe

• EastEnders: Good riddance Danielle

  Posted on April 5th, 2009 John 4 comments
  

  Danielle, played by Lauren Crace

  So, this week saw the departure from EastEnders of one Danielle Jones, played by Lauren Crace. Now, before I continue with this post and get lynched no doubt by anyone who stumbles on this blog - this post is not about Lauren Crace’s acting, she was a good actress and I wish her every success in the future. No, this post is all about the STORYLINE (because, remember children, EastEnders is a work of fiction).

  For the last few months we’ve all had to sit through half hour after half hour of much umming and ahhing and knowing looks. In fact, you’d have had to be bloody stupid to have not put two and two together the minute Danielle arrived in Albert Square. Doh … Ronnie’s suddenly got a daughter she gave up for adoption … Duh … woman about that age arrives in Albert Square … Duh … Wonder who she could be?

  Then, probably the most annoying thing about this whole sodding story. The way that tweenies across the country united and latched onto this story like it was a modern day version of Romeo and Juliet (or let’s be more accurate, the new version of Sharon and Dennis). Post after post of interminable crap on our Forums about “When will she tell her? How will she tell her?” Why didn’t they go even further and ask, “What clothes will she be wearing when she tells her? Will she have red sparkly lipstick on?” Good god people. You’ve driven me to distraction.

  And then the ultimate.

  She died! Praise the lord hallelujah. And so the story should have ended at this point. Except it didn’t. The sodding aftermath then brought down Walford Web Forums, Digital Spy and every probably every other website where the words Ronnie and Danielle had appeared at some point in its life. How it didn’t crash the National Grid as everyone went to make a cup of tea I don’t know.

  And now, get this … Fans are petitioning the BBC so that Danielle won’t be dead. For pete’s sake, grow up. It’s a story which has come to its natural conclusion. For me, that conclusion has come five months too late but at least it’s off my screens now.

  Last not least, let’s give Charlie Brooks a medal for coming back as Janine. If I ever meet Janine, which I won’t because EASTENDERS ISN’T REAL, I’d give her £500 myself for bumping Danielle off. You’re a star love, an absolute star.

  On Television EastEnders